Earlier this week during the daily Marx-to-bros lunch chats, the topic of chocolate addiction came up. It wasn’t a big part of the conversation, but the topic was mentioned.

Addictions can be very powerful things. Most people get addicted to things very easily. And I believe I am one of those people.

I’m addicted to anything chocolate and masturbation.

When it comes to chocolate, I just can’t help myself. I just finished eating three double chocolate chip cookies from Subway. I hit rock bottom on Halloween. I eat every KitKat, Snickers, Twix, and Crunch bar in sight. Even if they’re not mine. It really is a problem.

With masturbation… Well, I don’t think I have to explain myself. Anyone with a penis and a mobile device with internet access can understand why I masturbate profusely.

I guess its a good thing that I haven’t smoked weed, popped pills or anything of the sort because I’d probably end up doing it twice a day every day.